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woooooo | COMPLETE BULLSHIT | Joe Mathlete vs. The Internet
woooooo | COMPLETE BULLSHIT | Joe Mathlete vs. The Internet
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Click here for instructions on how to embed "Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card" into an external webpage.
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The Shadowland Prophesy
by mcc
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Run Hello
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Xaxxaxoxax
by mcc
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Run Hello
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Markov Space
by mcc
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Run Hello
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01/26/12 : Roxy: Break some glass.
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MS Paint Adventures
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01/26/12 : Roxy: Clear some space.
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MS Paint Adventures
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01/26/12 : Roxy: Break bottle.
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MS Paint Adventures
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01/26/12 : Roxy: Retrieve mutant kitten.
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MS Paint Adventures
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01/25/12 : Roxy: Take cat.
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MS Paint Adventures
From rudestyle wendy junglist massive:
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NCLB notes
by wendybattle64@gmail.com (harleqwendy)
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(No title)
by wendybattle64@gmail.com (harleqwendy)
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(No title)
by wendybattle64@gmail.com (harleqwendy)
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(No title)
by wendybattle64@gmail.com (harleqwendy)
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(No title)
by wendybattle64@gmail.com (harleqwendy)
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ffs
by wendybattle64@gmail.com (harleqwendy)
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hey
by wendybattle64@gmail.com (harleqwendy)
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gotta dig and dig some more
by wendybattle64@gmail.com (harleqwendy)
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(No title)
by wendybattle64@gmail.com (harleqwendy)
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True story: my friend Jimmy was introduced to Jandek at a bar a couple of years ago, not too terribly long after he revealed himself to be a flesh and blood human and began playing live (mostly at festivals in Scotland for some reason). According to Jimmy, Jandek was soft-spoken and very polite, and at one point mentioned that he "didn't get out much."
Sometimes it is very cool to live in Houston.
If I had more than 3"x5" to work with (and, y'know, was a better artist), this would be the funniest thing I've ever drawn. Promise.
Art History majors, close your eyes and imagine what this should look like. Everybody else, Google Hieronymous Bosch.
"Whoops!"
So this wasn't requested by anyone, but I did, indeed, take damn near a year to draw several of the index cards people ordered. This was due more to what I mentioned in the previous post than to Dark Shadows marathons, but thanks to some helpful correspondence I'm pretty much back on the horse (ATTN: Gloria B-- email me that Paypal receipt!).
Check back in over the next couple days as I continue to play catchup. After that... surprising surprises? For serious!
To the best of my knowledge, I'm pretty sure I've caught up with all pending index card orders. The mountain of disorganization that is my inbox, combined with the fact that I've moved seven (seven!) times since 2006, could prove otherwise, but as far as I can tell I am square.
As of last week I'd stuck all the unshipped cards in the mailbox and sent them on their merry way. If you have been (so very patiently) waiting for an index card for awhile and it hasn't arrived by Monday, email me (themathletes AAATTT yahoo DDDOOOTTT com) and let's figure out what happened.
Future plans: Hmm...
Yikes!
Man, Payne's a jerk.
The following are among the things I cannot draw:
1. Celebrities
2. Unicorns (or any kind of horse-like being)
The following are among the things I kick ass at drawing:
1. Magical rainbows
Use your imagination. I have no idea what's going on in that censor'd bubble, but I do know it's horrifying.
George's mischievousness aside, it's pretty irresponsible to keep all your eggs (Homeland Security files and AIDS cures) in one basket/gigantic open cardboard box.
This blog is totally not dead anymore. It's still probably near-dead, compared to a lot of things on the internet, but it's a start.
I will begin slowly uploading the final batch of cards in my "to do queue," some of which have been kicking around since last Autumn. Beyond that, after an unbelievably terrifying period where I thought I had lost everything, I have recovered all of the cards I have yet to ship out (in a little box in my friend's storage closet. Here's a tip for those of you who move a lot, or ever: get your shit together better than me).
I thank you all tremendously for your patience (yet again), even those of you who asked for refunds during my long months in the wilderness of not updating. Frankly it's kind of ridiculous it takes me so long to do this stuff, but hey: good artist, shitty capitalist, huh?
Beats,
Joe Mathlete
You should ALWAYS read a contract before you sign it, or else you might have to go on Carson Daly's show.
Kind of like a Hunter S. Thompson novel, only retarded.
It wasn't easy getting Papa John's to deliver to the ocean.
How does he see what he's writing?
And now it's a month later. Anyway, I've got an update for you.
Due to circumstances more or less within my control, I am not accepting any more index card orders for the time being. Due to circumstances sort of but not really within my control, I have had to take some time off from the drawing racket. I have a good deal of cards in my queue, and I will most likely be working on those for the remainder of the year.
However!
I will begin semi-regular updates as two weeks from now, as I work through the backlog I've accumulated. Once I'm more or less caught up, I will resume orders and things will continue as normal. I am also considering adding a crayon-free black and white option, which would be a bit cheaper than the standard choice.
Those of you who have yet to receive cards I've posted, I apologize for the delay in shipping. Be assured that I fully intend to fulfill my originally stated promise to fill all orders within five months, but no longer stand by my claim that "it'll probably be more like one or two months."
Thanks to everyone who has participated in and enjoyed, or at least not hated, this here little project of mine.
Beats,
Joe Mathlete
This scenario is highly implausible, of course... It assumes that the U.S. military is actually trying to find Bin Laden in the first place. (pause for laughter, applause)
Thank you, ladies and germs, I'll be here all week.
Oh, I kill me.
I come from a long line of piglet bathers.
Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
He was this close to just having his wife run in his place.
